we have pet lesbian snakes
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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