he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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