I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
