i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
