i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
