We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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