He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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