The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
