i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
