Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
