Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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