if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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