i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
This gyro tastes like lonliness
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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