what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
