Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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