we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
