the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
