i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
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