i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
