Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
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