ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
high people should be assigned attendants
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize