me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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