why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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