Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize