just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
where does the pee come out of this thing
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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