Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
