Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
