Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
