You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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