yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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