I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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