Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
