Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
