we made out on top of his cat.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
