I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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