Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
