I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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