i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
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For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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