Plan B is the new Plan A
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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