Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
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