It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Randomize
