Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
