thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
