He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
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I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
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He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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