so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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