I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
