No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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