That's intense
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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