yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
