Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
