Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize