I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
