I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
