i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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