quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
