I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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