Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
