I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
