one word: firstdatebathroomanal
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I am midnight drunk by noon
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
