I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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