Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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