I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smell my finger.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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